My step-brother got engaged last night. His girlfriend, Ali, changed her relationship status to engaged and posted a photo of the $2000 custom ring he gave her. I was bored so I started browsing the comments on both of these posts and it KILLED me. There were less congratulations and more comments like, “about time” and “omg you totally deserve that.” I see these comments on most social media announcements and they annoy the living hell out of me.
Being in a relationship for more than a month does not entitle you to a wedding ring. Two years doesn’t guarantee a ring either. Neither does five or ten or fifteen. I understand that a lot of women think that once you hit a certain point getting married is the only option. I simply cannot get behind this thinking. It makes a relationship feel like a job. A position that you are sticking with, putting time into, in hopes of getting a diamond on your finger. The same line of thinking goes with the “you totally deserve it”. Like marriage is that promotion you’ve been working so hard at obtaining.
While the idea of marriage being the end game of a relationship is great and typically the way it goes, that does not mean that “it’s about time” or that you “totally deserve it”. A guy will ask you to marry him if and when he decides he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Not because you put “time” into it and “deserve” it. It’s not about the amount of time (or lack thereof). No, it’s about love, commitment, and being at a point in your life where marriage is a viable option. Both financially and otherwise.
It would be nice if more people thought of marriage as being about love rather than about the ring on their finger. Because really, that’s why girls are so goddamn annoying about marriage, right? These are also the same women who will all be divorced in ten years, so I guess they deserved it?