"There’s potential value, not only for your writing but also for your relationships, in taking autobiographical risks: that you may, in fact, be doing your brother or your mother or your best friend a favor by giving them the opportunity to rise to the occasion of being written about — by trusting them to love the whole you, including the writer part,"

—Jonathan Franzen, On Autobiographical Fiction (a lecture) 

"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it’s just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."

David Sedaris

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

The Things The Girls I Work With Say

Manager: I’m so sore

Me: From your vacation? 

Manager: No, from all the chains and whips for my OTHER job. *wink*

Girl I Work With: I ate an entire large pizza because I’m depressed

Me: I eat entire large pizza’s because I’m happy

Conversations with my sister

Lisa: I need your Netflix account info because I need to watch this shitty show

Me: Which show? 

Lisa: Jane By Design

Me: Oh, that’s one of my favorite shows…

Lisa: I love that you watch the shittiest of shit

Me: Just because I don’t believe in God doesn’t mean I don’t believe in fate. 

My sister: I’m sorry we just fought about pop punk. 

“Find what you love and let it kill you.”

-Charles Bukowski

The Akron Advantage

Professor: What’s the point of going on a date?

Student: To get that honey back at yo’ crib, so ya’ll can get fressssssh! 

silence.

Student: I mean, I ain’t tryin’ to make a mama outta her, but you know. 

silence.

The Things the Girls I Work With Say

Girl: I’m a homo and I’m on birth control!